I’m supposed to post something every day. It was the commitment I made.
But honestly, I’m exhausted.
It’s hard to sound smart on a perpetual basis. And sometimes I don’t have ideas to share. Sometimes I literally just sit there for hours and watch Buzzfeed videos until I get fed up with myself and go clean the bathroom.
I am doing my PhD and so I’m supposed to be smart, insightful, thoughtful, unusual…
…one minute to go…
I am hoping to be great one day. I am hoping all of this work and debt and more work and solitude and lack of contact with regular people will pay off. God I hope so. Am I supposed to be great? Am I supposed to be doing this?
If I had one week left. what would I do with it?
Hang out with my family. There, I said it. I’m not an academic. I’m just human.
I’m too tired to be profound today. And maybe that makes me the most real person I can be. Or maybe it just makes me a regular person for once, not someone trying to sound smart talking about “discourse” and “frameworks” and what-not. Im’ still where I came from, right? I’m still rooted to my moments in my day and not just my output, my critical mass, my end result…right?